Ephesians 4:32 in the KJV reads: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Paul is not throwing out a soft moral lesson. He is making a theological demand rooted in the Gospel itself. God’s forgiveness toward believers becomes the pattern for how believers treat each other—especially those in positions of influence. Christian leadership without kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness is already drifting away from the very message leaders claim to defend.
Paul wrote Ephesians to shape the church into a community that mirrors Christ’s character. The command to “be kind” is tied to a Greek word that carries the sense of being useful, gentle, and gracious. “Tenderhearted” points to a deep inner compassion, not merely politeness. “Forgiving one another” is Paul’s way of saying that no Christian can claim the privilege of nursing grudges. The entire verse lands with a single force: treat each other the way God has treated you.
When leaders sue one another in civil court, Paul’s verse becomes a direct confrontation. Civil litigation between believers is already addressed in 1 Corinthians 6, but Ephesians 4:32 pushes even deeper. A suing spirit cannot coexist with tenderhearted forgiveness. It shows a leadership culture built around turf, pride, or wounded ego rather than Christlike grace. Legal battles might settle property, but they never heal hearts; they simply expose the absence of the Gospel in the relational life of the church.
When they cannot look each other in the eye, it reveals a deeper wound: the relationship has been drained of mercy. Paul expects Christians to reflect a God who looks at forgiven sinners without flinching, without contempt, without storing up old debts. If leaders cannot shake hands or share a simple cup of coffee, it signals that the cross has been reduced to doctrine instead of being allowed to reshape the way they treat one another.
When they fight over Bible versions, legacy, or denominational landmarks, Paul’s command cuts through the noise. Kindness is not the same as compromise, and forgiveness does not erase conviction. But the moment leaders defend truth without embodying mercy, the posture becomes self-defeating. It is possible to fight for a translation and lose the heart of the One the translation points to. It is possible to battle for a legacy and betray the Gospel that legacy was meant to uphold. It is entirely possible to guard a landmark yet abandon the Christ who placed it there.
Paul’s word in Ephesians 4:32 is a summons back to sanity. Christian leadership is not measured by victories, influence, or reputational triumphs but by the ability to treat fellow believers the way God has treated them—graciously, patiently, and sacrificially. A forgiven people who cannot forgive become a contradiction. A leadership culture shaped by conflict instead of kindness becomes a warning sign rather than a witness.
The verse is not asking leaders to pretend differences do not exist. It is calling them to let the Gospel govern how those differences are handled. When leaders return to kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness, it becomes a living demonstration that Christ is not merely confessed—His character is on display. This is the kind of leadership that actually builds the church rather than fracturing it.