A colleague once cornered me after a conference panel on inerrancy and said, "So if the King James translators were inspired, why not the Teochew ones?"
So, purely for the humor of it: I hereby announce the "Teow Chew Received Version (TCRV), translated entirely from my grandmother's kitchen, cross-referenced against her exact tone of voice when she said "m̄-thang" (don't you dare).
My colophon reads:
"Translated by verbal, plenary inspiration, equally as inerrant, authoritative, and infallible in its original Teochew as the Hebrew and Greek autographs — having apparently been fluent in Teochew all along, just never told anybody until now."
Article X of my personal confession states: "We deny that the absence of any actual textual basis for this translation renders its inerrancy invalid or irrelevant." The manuscript evidence consists of one (1) recipe card and a strongly worded opinion about how loud the wok should be.
Peer review is still pending. I expect it to remain pending indefinitely.
Let me tell you frankly, the underlying text of my Teo Chew translation is perfect without error, do not play play with my grandma.
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